They may sound innocent enough to uninitiated ears, but these pseudo Spanish dishes have been twisted to the point of no return, resulting in a cringeworthy and totally bizarre culinary concoction that probably tastes pretty funky too.
As an expat in Spain myself, I don’t mind a little culinary license when it comes to a dish (I slather the alioli on my calamari sandwiches and adore tapas with a twist when done with finesse) but these renditions of my beloved Spanish cuisine have simply gone too far.
The jury is in and these Spanish food crimes are guilty– no contest!
1. The paella sandwich
Paella purists are always up in arms about the atrocities that pass for paella around the world, but the sandwich version of Valencia’s signature dish was truly the final straw. We heard that Valencia held a day of mourning the day that UK supermarket Tesco unleashed this beast– called one of the world’s worst sandwiches on The Daily Edge.
2. Calamari pizza
Okay, I’ll admit– it actually sounds kind of fantastic. But that doesn’t make it right! Pizza is delicious, calamari is delicious, why mix the two? Spanish food is renowned for its simplicity, and this is definitely far too complicated.
3. Reduced carb sangria
What’s the point?! Seriously– what is the point? Any drink that calls for Crystal Light should be banned anyway. Not much more to say about it.
4. Whipped cream and oreo montadito
Anyone who’s ever lived in Spain can tell you about the simple pleasure of a good montadito– a miniature sandwich stuffed with Spanish ingredients– cheese, ham, anchovies, the list goes on and on. And while Spaniards are known for their sweet tooth (with traditional snacks that include the chocolate bar sandwich), the whipped cream and Oreo sandwich offered at the US locations of the popular Spanish fast food chain 100 Montaditos has gone a step too far.
5. Any gazpacho that looks like this
Gazpacho in Spain is generally served in a glass and definitely not chunky. And it most certainly does not include a mound of sour cream on top. This plate below looks like a cross between a Bloody Mary, Mexican style salsa and a Middle Eastern salad. No offense to the chef, but let’s just keep the word gazpacho out of things, okay?
6. This freakish paella
There are enough crimes committed against paella to create a whole other post– but for now, I’ll leave you with this beauty. It seems that this is a Basque creation (for what purpose I can only imagine) and between the hard boiled egg mice with M&M ears and the unidentifiable tails I would really love to meet the crazy people at this party. Any Basques reading? What do the hard boiled egg letters say?
Have you ever witnessed a Spanish food crime? Share it with us in the comments! Luckily there are no signs of crime on any of our food tours, so sign up for the real deal!